Nothing is as kak as being a ninja in an 80’s action movie, so watching American Ninja 2 the other night, I couldn’t help but be amazed at the sheer tenacity and bravery displayed by this nameless henchman. This guy should receive a reward. In the world of ninja henchmen, your life expectancy is not more than 2 minutes or a slap to the mouth.
The scene only lasts for about 3 minutes, but if you take into consideration everything that happens to this unnamed ninja, 3 minutes is more like 3 hours.
The action starts at 09:25 into this video.
The scene starts with Joe Armstrong, Toto (I’m not making that name up) and Michelle Botes escaping in a bakkie from a horde of useless ninjas. They still look relatively calm here, almost relieved. That relieve is short-lived though…
“What the fuck!?” , Michelle Botes exclaims, pointing
Standing in the middle of the road, is what their lives will be consumed with for the next 3 minutes
Very calmly starring down a car speeding full speed at him..
Joe Armstrong, not phased, returns the stare
It must be pointed out, that this is what’s facing our unnamed foe
After a perfectly timed jump onto the back
He proceeds to punch open the back window with his bare hands
Unfortunately, trying to strangle Joe Armstrong was his first mistake of the day
Here, he gets the shit bitten out of his arm by the little man, Toto
He then gets flung from the back of the truck onto the dirt road.
At this point, any normal ninja henchman would have gone “fuck it, I’m going home”. Not this one… oh my shit, not this one…
He pulls out a grappling hook (which I’m not too sure where he was hiding) and throws it with precise accuracy onto the back of the truck… and then, well then he fucking starts holding on…
… and on
The ninja, not giving a fuck, is seen here taking out civilians on motorbikes for shits and giggles. I am 100% convinced that this was planned
Here the dirt road has turned into tar. Please notice the wear and tear on this poor bastard
Oh the rascal, causing more chaos on the roads. All in a day’s work
LITERALLY a few seconds after the car spins, the ninja miraculously appears on the roof and proceeds to knock the shit out of the windscreen
Predictably, Joe slams the breaks and our hero is flung from the truck (again).
By this time, what happens next shouldn’t come as much of a shock to anyone
The shock on Michelle’s face should say it all
It is at this point where Joe, Toto and Michelle gives up all hope and abandons ship. Who can blame them?!?!
Seen here still hanging on, about to go down with the ship that Joe, Toto and Michelle so cowardly abandoned
He’s been bitten, flung, pulled and has had cars and motorbikes thrown at him. At the end of the day, him dying in a majestic ball of fire was the only fitting end for this brave soul.
We salute you, friend***
