Maybe Later

I was giving what I was going to write about quite a bit of thought. I had a few ideas, but I couldn’t really make my mind up.

That was until Saturday night when I was channel surfing and stumbled across “The Karate Kid Part II”. I have never watched it before as I have never been a huge fan of those movies.

But I continued watching the movie for the sole purpose of finding fault and laughing at Daniel-san’s most unfortunate hairstyle, ridiculously tight jeans and Magnum P.I style shirts.

What I also found hilarious was the fact that the villains had an inexplicable hatred for plants. Seriously, these fuckers had it in for anything which might even resemble something green. First they went to town on a garden with some picks and shovels, later in the movie they kicked the shit out of a few pot-plants and close to the end of the movie some asshole demolishes a vegetable garden with a bulldozer. With this in mind plus the fact that I know the villains in “The Karate Kid Part III” also nearly had multiple orgasms when breaking up Mr Miyagi’s bonsai trees, I thought I had to write about the villains of the Karate Kid franchise.

So, this morning while I was doing some research, I came across an article titled: “The karate kid villains”. So my idea had gone out the window. Even though what they had written and what I had planned to write differed, the premise was the same. I didn’t have enough material so I decided to write about something else. But it could wait for now.

I first had to follow those links in the article. Opening a new window, read that article, follow another link on that page which took me to a new window after which I followed a link on the article etc. etc. etc.

Before I knew it, it was 11:00. I had wasted 4 hours of my morning, all the time knowing full well that I had loads of work and a Friday deadline. By this point I have already ignored my Outlook to-do notifications. “Nah, I’ll just move them to tomorrow, move a few things around on Wednesday, come in an hour earlier on Thursday”. OK so back to the business at hand: Following links, reading up on useless information until.... BAM!!!. It’s 16:00.

Now if you don’t know where I’m going with this, let me tell you. It’s the classic art of Procrastinating. Here is a summarized definition: “Procrastination refers to the act of putting off actions or tasks to a later time. It must be counterproductive, needless, and delaying” Here is a handy Flowchart.

Ah yes! Sounds familiar doesn’t it?

Now I don’t know how many of you have experienced the “Wikipedia Free-fall”. What I mean by that is going on to Wikipedia to search for one topic, then end up wasting hours of time researching pointless subject matters. I’m sure you have all seen those sneaky little links on all the pages. It’s so easy researching for instance “Insomnia” then ending up an hour or two later on the “full list of episodes of Mystery Science Theatre 3000”.



Ever heard of this?Thought so



I have an extensive knowledge on anything from the History of Estonia to the synopses of pointless movies I will never watch and never even heard of, like:Manos: The Hands of Fate, Glen or Glenda, Plan 9 from Outer Space, etc.I also know Skeletor’s back-story plus the over elaborate rules and history of Quidditch.



Rich Bastard



By the  way, did you know that “Scrooge Mcduck had worked his way up the financial ladder from humble immigrant roots and was born in Glasgow, Scotland? Scrooge is now the richest duck in the world, rivaled only by Flintheart Glomgold and John D. Rockerduck - Wikipedia

Now all that crap I will never use again in my life. It is not like I have ever been asked if I know who Bravestarr’s brother is or what the history of Rogan Josh Curry is. So why would I do it? Why would I waste countless hours on unimportant crap? Some people might say I’m lazy, other people might say this is a psychological condition. Well I disagree.

You see, I do admit sometimes wasting unnecessary time even with deadlines looming, but I have never missed a deadline in my life. So it’s not a problem for me. My work gets done, plus I get to learn about the Origin of the G-spot. Win Win situation...

So I say, LONG LIVE PROCRASTINATION!!!

Just make sure that on the day of that exam or deadline, the definition of procrastination does not read as follows: “Procrastination is like masturbating. It’s all good and well until you realise you just fucked yourself”  

(PS: Noticed how the first half of this article had nothing to do with the topic? YES!)