Terrifying Album Covers

One of the many things I’ve always found interesting and intriguing, will have to be the art of Album Covers. And I’m not talking about the normal run-of-the-mill album covers. I mean I’m sure that all of you have received an e-mail at some point of your life containing one or more of the following

Now these covers (along with countless more) are truly funny. With Ken and his mustache made out of everything that is fucking awesome, The Ministers Quartet’s dodgy request and Little David Wilkins’ “King of the Taverns”. That album title was probably cleverly thought up when Little David Wilkins ate the staff members of 12 taverns in Obese Land.

Now yes, these covers are funny, but what happens when you leave a semi-retarded schizophrenic serial killer in with a paintbrush and some crayons? You get pure madness (as I will soon show you).

1.      Cannibal Corpse – The Wretched Spawn.

Now basically, all Cannibal Corpse album covers are pretty horrible, but I’ve decided on the two most disturbing ones. Also, Cannibal Corpse is the only band which has two entries on this list.

What stands out in this cover is the guy in the background with a VERY disappointed look on his face. I don’t know if that is because he is missing out on whatever his two friends are doing or whether he knows he is on this album cover.

2.      Cannibal Corpse – Tomb of the Mutilated

The head/skull thing in the bottom right corner looks extremely worried. Maybe it’s because he knows that after Gollum is finished, it’s his turn.

3.      Danzig – Thrall-demonsweatlive.

Basically Janet Jackson wearing Shao-Kahn’s helmet, or:

 

4. King Diamond – Give me your Soul Please

This one takes a page form the Grudge – Terrifying Ghost Girls coming down the stairs. What makes this one even more nightmare inducing is the fact that she LITERALLY wants your soul… err, no thanks. Maybe later.

5. Cattle Decapitation - Humanure

 

Ok you have got to be kidding me, right?

That cow also looks remarkably calm for a cow that just shat 3 human heads

6. Rotting Christ – Satanas Tedeum

Ok I will admit that this cover isn’t terrifying at all, but it does deserve a mention. Now these assholes are the poster-boys for trying to be controversial but failing miserably. I mean just look at the name of the band. I almost want to say that they are trying way too hard, but that would be inaccurate. Because this designer is to trying as what “Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2” is to the world of cinema.

This was probably how the conversation went between the band manager and the dsigner of this ablum:

Band Manager: “Yo Mitch, we’re very controversial and need an album cover to showcase our awesomeness”

Designer: “How about a pentagram…?”

Band Manager: “Hmmm. I like your way of thinking. Tell you what, throw two inverted crosses on there too and if you can mention the Devil somewhere on there that would be great.”

Designer: “Ok that sounds good to me. I just have to ask my Mommy if I can use her computer first”

Douchebags…

7. Moray Eel – Priest Hunter.

Here is another ghostly little girl which will give anyone nightmares.

The real star of this cover however is the guy in the background proclaiming: “ARRGHHH!” Haha!!! “ARRGHHH!”. Really!? Are you taking the piss?! It was almost as if that was added as an afterthought.

Band Manager: “This album cover isn’t terrifying enough”

Designer: “What if I add a speech bubble with a guy screaming “ARRGHHH!”?”

Band Manager: “That’s genius. It’s fucking spine chilling. DO IT!!”

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There you go. I hope you enjoyed that. Believe me, there are PLENTY more ridiculous covers out there, but unfortunately I don’t have the time.

Just as an afterthought, I decided to leave you with this:

Imagine waking up to these faces in the middle of the night…